Mustered Out on Mertactor
A strong and supple outer garment
This fashionable garment is a sleeveless Nobble hide cloak from Tarsusthat is expertly made and able to be worn over most armor although its supple leather does not count as armor its self. It has multiple hiden pockets and a slit down the right side just high enough so Jie can unholster her Laser carbine without hindrance. Its ‘nobby’ exterior will undoubtedly draw attention to her exotic prettiness…as long as no one knows the backstory behind it.
Out of her black flak jacket and half used ablat armor, Jie can be exotically pretty. Not beautiful mind you, not like Taeva, but good bone structure with smooth skin pretty. In Plainsville (a small town on the plains of Tarsus) however, that is enough to really grab the attention of the local ranch hands who have come to town wanting to blow off steam and waste a lot of credits after the great harvest. They recognized the team from previous encounters but on this night as Jie walked into the saloon with her long black hair over one bare shoulder and Taevas borrowed eye liner framing her almond eyes the boys stopped dead in their tracks and stood dumbfounded as she walked by and sat with her companions.
Taeva was of course used to the drooling, wide eyed youths of her planet and coolly glared at them when they came to talk. Jie however was nicely amused at their inanity. With opening lines like “Yer daddy must be in jail ‘cause he stole the stars from the sky and put ‘em in yer eyes when you wer born.” And “If I said you had a great body would ya hold it aginst me?” and a classic “Did you jus fart? ‘Cause you’ve blown me away!” So when young Jebbadia was pushed over by his pals and embarrassedly asked her “Been Nobble tipping b’fore?” Jie was intrigued.
Nobble Tipping 101
*1-Gain a friend who has a Grav/Jeep and is drunk enough to shoot across the Tarsus Plains at night with the lights off. Lights will awaken and scare off the sleeping Nobbles.
*2-Find a sleeping Nobble.
*3-Split the party into 2 groups. A Tickler and the Rod Pokers. This is often accomplished by a coin toss or a drunken brawl just outside the auditory range of the sleeping Nobble. (Note: at night with no lights a coin toss is usually not a preferred method due to the fact a group of drunken Nobble tippers could loose about 15 Imperial coins before they realize they can’t see in the dark. Often it is the person whose coins are lost initiates the drunken brawl.)
*4-The Rod Pokers look to the nearby ground for lengths of sticks about a meter or so. Longer the better. Often if a Rod Poker finds a coin on the ground he should keep it and says nothing to it’s previous owner.
*5-Enmasse, the group slowly approaches a sleeping Nobble. This is the most difficult aspect of the sport. It is well documented that veteran Nobble Tippers often bust out in gales of insane laughter as they think back on great Nobble Tips of the past. It is up to the new enthusiasts to threaten the experienced tippers with bodily harm to ensure a stealthy advancement.
*6-The Tickler separates and travels to the far side of the 4 to 10 ton Nobble. It is best to warm the hands at this point by alternating them from the mouth to the arm pit. Often, the drunker the Tickler is the better the process tastes.
*7-Upon silent command the Tickler reaches up to the underside of the beast and scratches fervently around the abdominal area. This action will almost immediately stimulate the still sleeping Nobbles reactionary system to pick up its gigantic rear hoof and attempt to scratch the annoying tickle. Unfortunately too many slow Tarsus youths have been killed at this point making Nobble Tipping an underground sport that is holovised in only the most decadent reaches of District 268 such as Tarkine and Avastan.
*8-The Rod Pokers, seeing that the Nobble now is on unsteady footing, will unanimously poke their rods into the side of the beast that the Tickler is not on in hopes of tipping it off balance away from them and knocking the huge house sized creature to the ground. When this happens a boisterous cheer of triumph will be given by all.
*9-The Tickler, upon seeing the 4 to 10 ton critter collapsing upon her will then duck and run under the falling beast as best her inebriated Imperial Marine reactions can function and join the rest of the group, turn to see the beast impact on the hard ground and join in the cheer. Then the entire tipping team will turn and run like hell to the idling Grav/Jeep because they will probably be chased by an angered and cranky Nobble at this point.
It would be good to note that the location of the Tipping is as important as the subject. It would cause the tippers duress if the multi ton beast fell into a gargantuan pile of its’ own feces thereby causing the dung to fling out from underneath its crashing weight in a crater-like 360 degree burst.
Jie was glad that morning that no one was at the hotel lobby as she stumbled in. It was an uncomfortable cold ride back to Plainsville with an incredibly apologetic Jebbidia at her side. The worst part was when the Grav/Jeep stopped however, now they all could smell themselves. Jies’ whole front side was covered from head to toe in cold and drying Nobble shit. The smell was akin to a newborns diarrhea mixed with rancid roadside spilled guts mixed with newly digested grass. Jie looks down to her splattered v-neck dress and unemotionally pulls away from the crap a Tarsus sized tape worm, not yet dead from exposure. She walks up to the inn keeper and says “Shower…Showers…Lots” and dumps a handful of filthy Imperial coins on the counter. The Inn keeper, horrified, notices Jies teeth even have flecks of poo in them, as if she had her mouth open when this all happened. As her companions rose and prepared for the last leg of their Tarsus journey, Jie received a package from the rancher Jebidiah. The note simply read sorry